Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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