Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
