We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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