why didn't you poke me back
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
