Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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