Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
