i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
