Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
