i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
