Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
