Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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