i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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