Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
