So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
