You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
