I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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