We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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