I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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