Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
