I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
