my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
