Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
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Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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