Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it glows. i had to have it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
