I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
