Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
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deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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