Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
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and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
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You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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