I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize