I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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