You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
two words: eviction party
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
