Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize