Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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