Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
