Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
