I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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