There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
