would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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