Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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