Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
