Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
