He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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