I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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