Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
