i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
