just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
