first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
