I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
