420 ftw
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
