I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
