There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
