we made out on top of his cat.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
tell me about the fingering
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