This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You're like the curious george of whores
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
