I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize