youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
