is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
did i walk over a car last night?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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