So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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