You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
