I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
