She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
