yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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