So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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