just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
