you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I enjoy the company of your penis
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