Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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