I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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